


Next in Line

by Anonymous



Series: Be Thine Own Palace [4]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: Age Difference, Anal Play, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Daddy Issues, Daddy Kink, Denial of Feelings, Drug Use, Emotional Hurt, Explicit Sexual Content, Exploitation, F/M, Heavy Drinking, M/M, Masturbation, Mental Health Issues, Oral Sex, Pain, Parent/Child Incest, Penis In Vagina Sex, Rough Sex, Sex Work, Surrogate Sex, Unresolved, Voyeurism, sex by proxy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:15:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24746680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Shido convinces Goro to come to his club after work.It’s just as awful as Goro remembers. Nothing has changed. Except…
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Shido Masayoshi
Series: Be Thine Own Palace [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1752943
Comments: 3
Kudos: 40
Collections: Anonymous





	Next in Line

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah Shido, something 'went down' in the palace. Spoiler: It was you. ;) 
> 
> ^^Tags^^

“Damn it.” Goro hisses to himself as he stares in the mirror. 

The tiny crescent marks around his nipple have gone from bright red, to blue, to brown, to grey, to white. The bite mark has faded. On its own. Despite Goro’s best efforts to keep it alive and irritated. 

Who said the bite mark was allowed to heal? 

“Fuck.”

Now that the mark is gone, all Goro has are the memories. The memories and the painful reality that he has to live with. Alone. It’s a new kind of pain. Not the familiar agony of rejection, which would be devastating enough. Rejection is a knife in the chest. Sharp, but isolated. Not like this. The pain he’s feeling now is wider. All encompassing. As lofty and widespread as the sky itself. Goro feels like he’s lost his footing in this world. He’s floating alone in the vacuum of space with nothing to keep him tethered to the earth. 

It’s been a month since they went into the palace. 

That’s all that happened (officially anyway). They just went into Shido’s palace and it was a failure.

It was actually a failure. 

But that’s _not_ all that happened. 

Shido fucked his brains out, then forgot. That happened. It did. Goro sometimes feels like a crazy person (he’s _not_ ) for remembering the truth when the rest of the world is oblivious. But it did happen. Shido held him down and fucked him. Goro _wanted_ it. Asked for it. Cried in happiness once he got it. 

Now Shido is treating him coldly. Like always. Like _before_. Nothing has changed. It’s not that he doesn’t care about Goro, it’s that he doesn’t _know_. He doesn’t even know what he did to Goro! 

“Tch.” Disgusted, Goro buttons up his shirt and shrugs on his school blazer. 

It’s such a pitiful repeat of history. Shido lived sixteen years without knowing about Goro’s existence, not knowing the brutality he had inflicted upon Goro with nothing but the careless absence of his presence and affection. Shido’s indifference killed Goro’s mother, but his ignorance is what destroyed Goro’s childhood. 

And now, his ignorance is destroying Goro again. For entirely different reasons. 

Goro can’t forget it. He’s tried, of course. He’s tried to forget it and ignore it, to block out the memories of Shido holding him and breathing hard in his ear while he fucked him and told him….told him…

_You want it, I can tell._

_My boy._

He did want it. He did. That’s the horrible truth. Goro is learning to live with that, but…he didn’t think he would have to live with the emptiness he’s feeling now that the bite mark is gone. Now that the only remaining proof of what happened exists solely inside of him. 

Inside of him. That fucked up hellscape.

What a horrifying and sick joke. The loneliness chokes him. If he takes a step right now, will his feet meet solid ground? Will he float away? Or will he clip through reality itself into a world of distorted nothing?

Which is worse?

Grimacing, Goro zips up his pants. Buckles his belt. Checks to make sure he’s ready to face the world outside his apartment. His slacks are ironed with an impressively sharp crease up the front. It’s crisp enough. Perfect enough. 

He dusts imaginary stray hairs from his shoulders. He’s perfect. For today, at least. Another day.

He’s tried to forget. To ignore it. And forget. He’s _tried_ , alright? It would be ludicrous to say he hasn’t tried! Because he has! 

But it’s useless. Because…

Sliding on his socks, Goro stares at the front door to his apartment for exactly one minute. He counts the seconds in his head. It’s his ritual, before he puts on his gloves and walks to the door. Then he holds the doorknob for another solid minute.

These are the two minutes he uses to compose himself. They’re a luxury. Something he can barely afford with his hectic schedule. Today he’s got class until lunchtime, then a television interview at noon, then work at the police precinct until the evening. Around dinnertime, he’ll be in a meeting with Shido’s people. Until god knows when. Their meetings have been going late recently, as the election looms over their heads.

Tomorrow he’ll go into the metaverse. He knows his next target. 

Life goes on. For some, at least. For him. His time in this bizarre, contrived performance called life has not yet come to an end. So. 

Before he walks out the door, Goro presses a hand to his chest. He feels the absence of pain where the bite mark has scarred over. It’s too awful not to have that bite mark (the impression of his father’s teeth! Seared into his skin! A visible, tangible declaration of how much Shido wanted him! Something that no one could deny!). So Goro closes his eyes and pretends it’s still there. He can pretend. His nipple twitches to life under his shirt as he imagines the pain. Thosebrutal teeth inching into a place where his skin is sensitive and defenseless.

Goro bites his lip and stifles a moan. “Ngh…” He remembers how it felt when Shido bit him that hard. It felt wonderful. Goro could try to deny that, but it wouldn’t make a difference. 

Because, well…because…

Because his body can’t corroborate the lies Goro tries to come up with to spare his dignity. And his sanity. No, his body seems not care about either of those things. His body is honest. His body wanted Shido that time and it still does. His nipples hurt, but only because they miss his father’s teeth. His cock aches, but mostly because he’s been masturbating at least twice a day ever since and it hasn’t helped at all. Goro gets hard so easily now. It’s humiliating and unfortunate. But it’s the truth. He’s hard when he sits in class and his mind starts to wander. He’s hard when he’s in a meeting with Shido’s team and has to listen to Shido’s voice. To feel his presence. And when he comes close enough to smell him…Goro gets too hard. Harder than he can handle. Right there in the office. 

When he masturbates, in the bathroom of the Diet building or alone in his room at night, Goro is never fully satisfied. He cums, sure, he cums with the most embarrassing things on his lips. But it’s not enough. On some level he knows it will never be. Not until he can…

The old plan he had of seducing Shido is on hold. It’s been a month and Goro hasn’t tried anything. Which is bad because Goro really needs a plan. Without one, he can feel himself slipping away. His reasons for maintaining this charade of a life are starting to disappear. Once they go, he doesn’t know what will happen to him. But he’s terrified of the possibilities. 

He needs the plan. Or something! He needs _something!_

He needs to get through this. 

He looks at the clock on the wall. It’s time to go. 

He needs to keep going. 

Goro emerges from his apartment with a smile on his face. He bows courteously to the elderly landlady sweeping the concrete in front of their building. She wishes him a good morning and he responds in kind.

“Have a wonderful day, Akechi-kun!” she bids. Loudly so that the neighbors will hear. 

“Thank you. I hope you do the same,” he replies. He nods politely at other heads that pop up to stare at him.

The problem with the old plan is that Goro can’t go near Shido without losing control of himself. But is that really a problem, if the goal is to get Shido to have a moment of weakness? Can’t Goro just seduce Shido in earnest, get the evidence he needs, and then…and then maybe he’ll get to have—?

_Take it like a good boy._

At least for a few moments he’ll have—

“Oh look, it’s Akechi-kun! Get your phone! It want to post this on Instagram.”

“It thought you said he was boring—”

“Just shut up and take my phone! Make sure you get us both in the picture!” 

Oh. That’s right. 

Goro makes sure to awkwardly notice the picture that’s being taken. As he stares idly into the black eye of a nameless person’s smartphone, he remembers that the goal was to have leverage. To make Shido suffer. Leverage is control. If he has control over Shido then he gets to call the shots. He doesn’t have to be alone anymore once he has that. He just needs the proof that Shido wants him, or wanted him, or could want him. He just needs the plan to work. 

He’ll make it work.

Yes. Goro shows up to class and greets his classmates with a friendly wave. A light conversation about the melon pan from Shibuya someone brought for breakfast. 

Goro’s nipples are still hard. They’re poking against his shirt, pressing into his blazer. If something were to touch them right now, even accidentally, he’s not sure if he could hide a moan. His nipples want to be touched so badly. Not just touched, bitten and claimed like Shido did. A month of pinching his nipples while he masturbates hasn’t made them any more normal—

The school bell rings. “Please stand. Bow to your classmates. Bow to your teacher.” 

This will work. He’ll find a way. 

He has to.

______________________________

“If there’s nothing else, then should we adjourn for now?”

It’s remarkable that the SIU Director himself came to this meeting. As well as several other notable members of Shido’s team that hardly ever come in person. They don’t like to leave a physical trace of themselves if they can avoid it. However there are still some exceptions when in person meetings are the best. When they can discuss matters face to face as a legislative body, without worrying about a virtual meeting getting hacked into. Most of the people here already work in the Diet building so it’s not that outlandish for them to be together. 

There are some people in attendance that Goro actually hasn’t met yet. No one took the initiative to introduce him, so for most of the meeting Goro just sat next to the SIU Director and tried to pay attention. Tried not to steal glances at Shido. Tried not to stare at his mouth, the mouth that had been on Goro’s cock. In his ass. Sucking him and licking him until he raised his legs and begged for it—

“Yes.” That mouth is moving. Shido stands up as he speaks. “I think that’s quite enough for today.” 

An ominous round of smiles ripples over the crowd. Goro catches each smile and warily takes note of the matching faces. What do those smiles mean?

Shido is not smiling, but his face seems…more relaxed. He’s gathering his things, getting ready to leave. Everyone else starts standing up. Stretching. Murmuring to each other. Confused, Goro stands up as well. Not sure what he should do. 

Why was he called to this meeting, again? This had nothing to do with palaces or possible targets…?

“When should we arrive by, Shido-san?” a man asks. Probably a Diet member, but Goro doesn’t recognize him. “Tonight, I mean. For our second meeting.” 

A few people laugh. Nod at each other. The grins on their faces are twisted. Goro would recognize those looks anywhere. He could hear those smiles and understand their meaning even if he was blindfolded. 

“You can all start heading over,” Shido answers. “I’ll be there myself in about an hour. Hopefully less.” 

“Don’t work too hard now, Shido-san.” Someone else is speaking. A man Goro has seen a few times before. 

It’s taken Goro this long to realize the meeting is entirely made up of men. Not a single woman in sight. It’s not usually like that. This could only mean…

“It’s your club, after all,” the man continues. “You wouldn’t want to arrive too late and make the rest of us look bad.” A few people chuckle. “Besides, I can’t promise we won’t start without you.” 

Shido smiles dryly. It’s the face he wears when he’s in front of other people and needs to play nice. Goro hates that face so much. “No I wouldn’t expect you to. Besides, the entertainment should be there within the hour.” 

A low hum of mumbled approval spreads through the group. Now everyone is on their feet. 

“It’s been a long time since I’ve been to one of your parties. Too long. I feel like I’ve been missing out.” The SIU Director’s eyes are wide as he speaks. His mouth is twisted in a smile that’s too high and too honest. He looks like a wolf among chickens. “After all, a Shido Masayoshi party is a hell of a thing.”

“Best in town.”

“By far.” 

“Nothing quite like it, I agree.”

Shido isn’t looking at any of them anymore. He’s checking his phone. Of course, he hears their praise (certainly he’s getting off on it), but he acts like he doesn’t care. Eventually he says, “We’re happy to have you, Director. Glad you could finally see things our way.” 

Goro is uncomfortable when he looks at the SIU Director. Over time, the man has lost his mind. Slowly at first and then all at once. They broke him with the blackmail, of course, that was the plan. He’s always been corrupt. But this is another level. He’s enjoying himself too much. 

Goro knows he’ll probably have to kill him soon. 

Disturbingly, the SIU Director’s eyes turn to him. “And you? You’re coming too, right, Akechi-kun?” 

Comfortable in his mask, Goro begins to turn down the offer. He’s sworn off Shido’s club for good—he’ll never go back! That place is a shitshow of hedonism and perversion. Goro has horrible memories of the last time—that’s where he first learned about Shido’s wandering eyes—and he intends to never return. Especially not now when his mind and body are in such disarray!

“Oh, well, I appreciate the invitation, and naturally I would love to go myself, but unfortunately—”

“Of course he’s going.” 

Goro’s head whips in Shido’s direction so fast his neck cramps up. Did Shido just…? He’s looking at Goro. Dead on. Their eyes meet. It’s the first time they’ve really looked at each other since it happened…Goro feels goosebumps break out all over his body. 

“Yes, Akechi-kun will be joining us tonight. I insist.” 

The world darkens. With those two words ( _I insist_ ) Shido has effectively closed the matter for discussion. There’s no way anyone can go against Shido when he makes a proclamation like that. Any words of dissent die on Akechi’s lips.

Has he just been roped into an evening in Shido’s hellish billiards club? (Well, ‘billiards.’ That’s the front, isn’t it? It’s really a sex club. Through and through.) 

No. Goro’s black-gloved hands curl into fists. No, please no! He’s not ready yet! And that place is the absolutely worst nightmare for anyone with even a modicum of self-respect—

“Excellent!” The SIU Director claps him on the back. Treating him like one of the guys. “Then why don’t I drive you! We can go together.” His smile is filthy. “I’ll help you out this time, Akechi-kun, but don’t forget to repay me, okay?” 

Goro can’t hide a frown. They’ve never been this close. He has no intention of repaying the director for anything. Not today, not tomorrow, not one thousand years from now. Especially if his senses are correct and there’s an ulterior motive behind the director’s offer. Which is something Goro can’t fathom entertaining as long as he’s still breathing. 

But he doesn’t seem to have a choice. He has no idea what Shido is planning. Why he’s suddenly decided to insist on this. 

An inkling of fear winds through Goro’s stomach.

“Well then…” He’ll fight. He’ll fight, but not here. “It seems I’m in your debt, Director—”

“No. That won’t be necessary.” 

Shido interrupts him again. This time, several people wheel around to stare at him. It’s unheard of for Shido himself to get involved in things like this. Other people’s accommodations.

“I’ve already called you a car. The driver just texted me; he’s waiting downstairs.” Shido nods imperiously at Goro. “Go meet him. Now.” 

There’s a beat of silence while Goro and the rest of the room process what Shido just said. Not in recent memory has Shido taken the initiative to give someone explicit access to his club. Or a ride in his personal car service. 

He’s not just twisting Goro’s arm into going, he’s also making sure he gets there. It’s an intimidation tactic, probably, but even so…

Goro’s heart beats wildly. In that moment, he feels like the most special person in the room. In the world. He wants to run into Shido’s arms at breaking speed. He wants to squeeze him and never let go. He wants to jump on the table in the middle of conference room, pull his pants down, and demand that Shido suck his cock as good as he did when they were in the palace—

He takes a breath. 

“Thank you, Shido-san. Everyone.” He bows to the room. “I’ll be going then.” 

Without another word, he turns on his heels and hurries down to the lobby Sure enough, there’s a car waiting. The driver even opens the door for him.

Akechi is grinning ear to ear in the backseat. He needs to take several more deep breaths before he can calm down. This is actually an extremely dangerous situation—he’s headed to Shido’s club, the worst place for anyone in the world to be (at least, anyone with their self awareness still intact). He shouldn’t be smiling! 

In a way, he is terrified. Shido wants him there for some reason. It’s probably nothing good.

But in another way…Goro’s body is trembling with anticipation. Is it time…? Is it _finally_ time? For him to have…? To have…? 

…For the plan, right? Is it time for him to proceed with the plan? 

He clenches his phone between both hands. He knows what he wants. Denial at this point is futile. He wants Shido to fuck him again. He wants it _bad._ But since Shido doesn’t remember the palace and only ever refused Goro’s advances…it doesn’t seem likely that he’ll just give in to him. And once he does give in…well, Goro still has to make sure he catches it on video. He needs leverage. He needs control. He needs a reason he can hold up to his face at the end of the day and find meaning in. 

Goro knows his body is treacherous and disgusting. As such, his body’s pleasure cannot be the only thing driving him forward. He needs something else to ground him in this reality before his mind starts to slip. A purpose. A reason to hate, to exist. To strive. To work as hard as he does everyday. To keep the cynically crafted mosaic of his life together. 

….Even though…

He shifts uncomfortably in the seat. He’s burning up from the inside out. Twitching. He’s twitching _there_. Has been since Shido ordered him to get in the car. 

His father…his father wanted him to go…

Fuck.

Right now he just needs to focus on making sure Shido wants him. 

If Shido forgot everything that happened in the palace, then Goro will just have to start from the beginning. From where they left off. The flirty teenager. The guy with nothing to lose.

Honestly…Goro really doesn’t have anything to lose at this point.

_________________________________

Being the last one to leave the office is a strange kind of validation. Shido is often the last person to leave work at the end of the day, and he takes private pride in that. Tonight is no exception. 

The building is dark behind him as he steps onto the streets of Tokyo. The night is young, just past 10:00 in the evening. He plans to enjoy himself tonight. 

He’s fucking earned it.

These past few weeks have been brutal. The grueling schedule, the work that never ends. All that palace nonsense fucking with his head. 

And Akechi…

Shido slides into the backseat of his personal car and feels accomplished. He’s happy with the way the meeting turned out. He successfully strong-armed Akechi into attending tonight. And, by calling him out in front of everyone and giving him exclusive access via a private car, Shido has laid claim to him. He’s sure a lot of those hyenas would want Akechi all to themselves for their own sick purposes…now that Shido has shown a special interest in Akechi, though, none of them would dare. 

It’s always like this. When he hires prostitutes (their entertainment for the evening), Shido gets his pick. No one touches the girl Shido hits on first. Or they risk crossing him. He’s never had to deal with someone who actually does cross him in this way, but Shido is confident he never will. 

For the rest of the night (and probably long afterwards), everyone Shido invites to his club will give Akechi a wide berth. No one will lay a hand on him. Probably won’t even talk to him or cast a stray glance at him (even that imbecilic SIU Director will keep himself in check).

Good. That’s a few less things Shido has to worry about. 

He reaches into his suit jacket for his trusty flask. He doesn’t always drink during the work day, but today is his special exception. He’s allowed to have exceptions to his usual impossibly high standards of personal conduct. Shido is the ideal man day in and day out. In front of the cameras, in the office, even in his alone time. So every once in a while…

Shido takes a nice gulp of what’s in the flask. Just some low tier whiskey. It hits the spot.

Every once in a while he can enjoy day drinking privately from a flask like a common drifter. Fuck anyone who thinks otherwise. Let them say it to his face.

So Shido has had a nice buzz going since early in the evening. Now his goal is to turn that buzz into warm, black elation. He wants to get drunk tonight. Not smashed, no. Shido doesn’t get ‘smashed.’ But he wants to get drunk. Nice, old fashioned drunk. If he gets a little sloppy then that’s fine. He’ll be at the club, so. He’s sure everyone else will be enjoying themselves so much they’ll hardly even notice. 

(This is of course the reason why Shido makes sure to procure more than enough booze and entertainment for everyone. If everyone gets blasted, then it becomes the norm. Shido can still hold himself to a higher standard than them and feel comfortable with himself afterwards.)

He takes another gulp from the flask and sighs around the aftertaste. He’s had a liquid dinner and lunch. So his buzz is off to a wonderful start. 

He closes his eyes to enjoy the feeling. 

…Akechi will be at the club tonight.

He’s still pissed off at that brat. For a whole host of reasons! For one, Akechi has been steadfastly avoiding him ever since the palace. No matter how he feels about what went down in there, it’s the coward’s way out to avoid him. Shido finds that unforgivable. 

For another reason…well…Akechi has something on him, doesn’t he? Whatever the hell it is? Shido _hates_ that. Always has, always will.

And also…

Shido swirls the liquid in the flask to gauge how much is left. He’s towards the end now. A few more pulls and that’s it. He helps himself to the rest.

Akechi’s presence in Shido’s dreams has become a nightly thing. It’s a lot. He used to grapple with wanting his son every so often, when those feelings cropped up out of the blue, but now he can expect them. As soon as he settles in for the night. Whenever he closes his eyes. 

_Please, please let me have your cock, Shido!_

Shido dreams only of ripped black fabric and claws. Of pearly white skin flushed red. Goro with his eyes rolled back, drool slipping from his mouth as he cries out in pleasure, begging him for more. An impossibly tight hole and arms that refuse to let him go, even when Goro passed out…

_Please, it’s so good!_

Shido grunts around his last drink. These dreams have been driving him crazy. He knows he’s lost part of himself to pure debauchery. But that’s not the worst of it. 

The worst of it is…reality. The real world. 

Shido avoids looking at his own reflection in the car window. Good thing they’re getting close to the club. He needs another drink.

What happened in the palace should stay in the palace. 

Akechi is clearly uncomfortable with whatever went down. Shido hates that, but there’s nothing he can do about it. So. They both have to live with it. Not only that, but…in the real world, they are not lovers. They’re boss and employee. They’re estranged father and bastard son. They’re practically enemies. Every day working to be one step ahead of the other. Racing to see who can destroy the other first. It’s like that with almost everyone who’s ever gotten close to Shido, and Akechi is no exception. He’s probably the most prime example. 

Getting close to Akechi—holding him, kissing him, licking his soft, sensual body, fucking him senseless over and over—is not an option in the real world. It’s too dangerous. It leaves Shido open to far too much criticism, from all sides. Nursing his overwhelming feelings for his son would mean tending a vulnerability he cannot easily defend.

Akechi, if allowed to be the thing in his dreams, would be Shido’s ultimate weak spot. A tool for other’s to use against him. Including Akechi himself, who would surely try to use their relationship as leverage of some kind. Or just the simple notion of loving another person who is outside the boundaries of Shido’s control… 

Shido can’t let it happen. Under no circumstances.

Besides, Akechi doesn’t want anything to do with Shido these days. Not since the palace. So it doesn’t matter anyway. 

…And that’s good. It pisses Shido right off, but it’s good. It’s all worked out for the better.

Even so…

“We’re here, sir.” 

Finally, they’ve arrived. Shido eyes his club, a tiny hole in the wall place he purchased under a pseudonym, in Shinjuku. Amidst all the common place debauchery of this part of town, Shido’s billiards club seems positively innocuous. 

As it should.

When he steps into the club, down a long staircase that separates the business of this place from the world above, Shido sees several things that please him right away. First of all, there are some people actually playing billiards. A few of the more stiff and strict guys. Younger guys, ironically. But that’s commendable! Especially considering the other things Shido sees that he appreciates.

A woman, one of their hired workers, is sitting upon an unused billiards table in nothing but a black g-string and heels. The rest of her body, including her (admittedly smallish) breasts, are on full display. She’s laughing to herself while two separate men feel her up on either side. One on each breast. A third man is kneeling in between her spread legs, lapping at her covered pussy. Soaking the fabric with his drool. 

He’s crying out nonsensically between licks. “Step on me, step on me!” he begs. “Suffocate me with your pussy, please!” 

The woman just laughs and laughs. Her eyes are wide and glassy. She’s young. And she’s most likely high on something. Shido hopes she is. He paid extra to make sure the girls had plenty of party drugs (performance enhancers, to put it mildly) at their disposal. He knows from experience that some prostitutes do better when they’re high and some do just fine sober. Better to offer the drugs as an option and let them choose from a wide range of experiences. It’s good business. 

Very satisfied with that demonstration, Shido surveys the rest of the room. There are about twenty hired women here tonight. Shido was worried before that it wouldn’t be enough. He was debating ordering more, since there are about thirty men in total. But actually it seems the numbers balanced out. Several guys seem more than happy sharing a girl between them in similar ways to the men at the billiards table. And the rest are already paired up. 

The most sober people cheer for Shido when he enters the room. He nods and smiles at them, stepping around a woman with her hands on the floor and her ass in the air. Her dress is pooled around her armpits and she’s grinding her pert ass against a man’s face. That man is one of the most senior members of the Diet. And he’s a certified ass man. Shido has observed him at enough of these parties to know that. 

Maneuvering around that, Shido makes a beeline for the bar. He doesn’t even need to say anything before there’s another drink in his hand. Vodka with a king cube of vermouth in the center. It’s Shido’s favorite starting drink. The bartenders here know that. 

This club is where Shido goes to unwind. 

Tasting his drink, Shido sees the woman he’s hired exclusively for himself for the night. It’s a woman he’s worked with before. She’s a bit older than the other girls, but that just makes her more experienced. She knows what Shido likes and she’s not shy about pleasing him. That works just fine for him. 

She calls herself Jewel. She’s quite slim with long brown hair and large eyes. Her fingernails are forever painted black with fake diamonds encrusted in the tips. Her hands flash whenever she brushes her hair out of her face. She’s elegant. Shido appreciates that. Right now, she’s sitting by herself in the back of the club. Sipping a Seven and Seven, her typical highball. When she sees Shido she smiles knowingly and gestures politely to the seat next to her. Offering him a spot.

She knows to wait for him. He’s given her those instructions. 

At the sight of Jewel, Shido relaxes considerably. He’s been with her plenty of times. He has nothing to prove. She’s tactful and succinct in her work. She’ll take care of him tonight. 

Shido takes a swig of his drink and joins her at the table. As soon as he sits down, she has her hands on his thighs. Squeezing his tight muscles over his pants. Her face slides up close to his.

“Hi,” she says. Her voice is deeper than you’d expect. A pleasant alto. “Glad you could make it.” 

“Heh.” Shido doesn’t have to respond to that, so he doesn’t. Instead, he grabs her by the chin and kisses her hard. 

Tonight, he doesn’t want to wait. He’s put in the work of sweet talking her on previous occasions. They’ve talked about life and the weather and some book she claimed to be reading at the time. Other such inconsequential things. Tonight, Shido doesn’t want any of that bullshit. 

He really just wants to fuck her. Kissing a woman is such a welcome relief! Shido likes women much better than young men. Actually, his insane attraction to Akechi is a fluke. Based on the fact that they…share a history. But Shido typically doesn’t go for boys (and never at all for men his own age). He prefers women. He likes feeling a woman’s lipstick smeared on his lips, her breasts pressed against his chest. Her delicate hands on his strong shoulders. A soft body that yields to him without having to work for it. 

Women are easy, in Shido’s mind. He knows what they’re after. His money, his status, his thick cock. It’s usually one of those. Easy. 

Tasting the depths of Jewel’s mouth, working her lips against his, Shido’s eyes start to wander…

He almost smiles when he spots Akechi. Almost.

His son in his argyle sweater sticks out like a sore thumb. He would anyway, probably, even if he wasn’t sitting in the middle of the room on a couch by himself. There’s something about Akechi that stands out. He’s a clear bell above the cacophonous din of this place’s necessary (but certainly ugly) business. Akechi is too bright. Too beautiful. He sits uncomfortably on that couch with his hands wrapped around a soft drink. Glancing around aimlessly.

Has he spotted Shido? Akechi didn’t greet him when he walked in. What the hell? 

Although…it does make sense. Considering.

Jewel’s hand snakes up higher on Shido’s leg. Her bedazzled fingers suss out his manhood, wrapping around him expertly—

“Hmm? What’s wrong?” She stops. 

Ah. There it is. The main problem. 

It’s been a month since the palace. Shido hasn’t had sex since then. It’s not that he doesn’t want to—because he does—it’s that he’s been…unfocused.

Surely this is an issue of focus. Attention. Shido has been torn in so many directions. Knowing that Akechi is out there with some leverage on him, and so many other issues that demand his attention on a daily basis. He’s been so distracted! How can he be expected to get hard when he’s got so much on his mind? He’s not a machine, he’s a man! For god’s sake! 

…Although, the truth is…

It’s not that Shido can’t get hard. That’s not the problem at all. He gets hard every morning when he wakes up from those dreams. Of course Shido jerks off thinking about those dreams. That’s just natural. The sex he has with Akechi in those dreams is…crazy. It’s unbelievable, really. Intoxicating. Consuming. Shido imagines himself as he was then, riding Akechi through orgasm after orgasm, cumming himself but refusing to stop even for a moment. And Akechi…a body that was surely made just for him. 

That’s what it is. Akechi is his son. He was designed for Shido by nature. How could anyone else compare?

_Hold me! Hold me!_

Shido eyes Akechi on the couch. He seems so far away. So buttoned up. So different from the scratching, creaming mess that Shido thinks he remembers fucking. The other side…the black mask, right? Shido wants to see it again. He wants to see him naked again. That perfect body! His hands cupping Shido’s face, making him look at him while he fucks him. 

_I’m…I’m your boy, so…_

Akechi’s body and his pretty words speak to the very blood in Shido’s veins. Akechi lives there now. Inside him. He can’t forget the flashes of images, how perfect it was to ravage him. His own body can’t work up the interest to fuck anyone else. He just wants that boy. The one with the messy hair and ironed pressed slacks. Sitting there on the couch, innocuous and strange. That one.

Even with an experienced prostitute’s hand on his dick, Shido can only want Goro.

It’s fucking pathetic. You could torture him to death and he’ll never admit the truth. His impotence…that’s between him and Jewel tonight. And he has a plan to work things out. 

He brushes Jewel off him and takes a big sip of his drink. He’s getting drunker. That’s good. 

She sits quietly and waits. Doesn’t mention that he was flaccid. She knows better than to do something as stupid as that. 

After Shido polishes off his drink, he turns to her again. “I have something I want to try tonight,” he announces. 

She nods. Her face is polite but impassable. “Alright. Go ahead and tell me.” 

Shido shakes his head. “I need another drink first.” 

“I’ll go get you one, then.” Jewel doesn’t need to ask what he wants. It’s his second drink of the night so it’s whiskey and coke with a splash of Jäegermeister. Obviously.

As she stands to get the drink, Shido watches her move. He normally loves the way Jewel walks. She has a fluid, confident walk. Her hips wag in just the right way so that her ass shakes from side to side, but not in a flashy way. It’s classy, that ass wiggle. Shido appreciates it very much. 

Although, tonight, Shido is not getting the full benefit of the sight. His vision is already swimming from the alcohol. He blinks a few times and it doesn’t right itself. That’s to be expected. He passed buzzed in the car and now he’s already drunk. When he blinks again, he looks around the club. The floor and the ceiling are the same color and that has a disorienting effect. It makes the world look as if it could be stood on its head and it wouldn’t make much of a difference. 

Shido wants to drink more. If he drinks more, maybe the world really will flip upside down. He could use that right now. 

Jewel promptly returns with his drink. The Jäegermeister and whiskey mix into a nuclear combination that hits like an icy hot shot of novocaine to his system. Shido will be obliterated once he finishes this. At last! 

“So, what’s this plan of yours, Mr. Prime Minister?” Jewel rests an arm on Shido’s shoulder and starts sucking on his ear. She knows all his good spots and what he likes to be called. She knows him. 

He wipes his chin, not entirely sure if it’s wet or not, and smiles. His face is very numb. “Let’s go to my private room.” 

She strokes her fingernails across the carefully trimmed beard on his face. “Sure. Lead the way.” 

Standing up proves difficult. Shido sways a bit on his feet, but Jewel is clinging to his arm so he’s able to manage. He downs the rest of this atomizing drink and feels fantastic. When he looks at Jewel, he sees nothing but her black dress and her black nails. Her tight, skinny body. She looks amazing! He knows what he said about the room, but…

He pushes her up against the wall and kisses her again. He’s kissing her way too hard. He’s messing up all her make-up. She goes stiff in his arms at first, surprised, but then she melts into him. Allowing the rough treatment. He grabs her by the hips and presses himself against her. Slotting one leg in between hers. Pushing his meaty thigh into the warm space beneath her dress, making the fabric ride up her hips. She’s sexy like this. Her legs are sexy. They’re long and bony…when he touches her skin, it’s soft under his fingers. Pliant and white. So pearly white…

There! Finally! 

“Ooh…” she remarks. Feeling his hardness against her leg. “There you are. That’s the you I remember.”

She says it with nothing but admiration and respect, but suddenly Shido hates the sound of her voice. He grabs her by the chin. Far harder than he should. She gasps under the force of it.

“You’re goddamn right,” he snarls in her ear. Burying his nose in her hair. She smells like vanilla and cherries and prostitute. It disgusts him. 

Angry as hell, he shoves a hand up her skirt. She’s not wearing underwear, as he likes. She’s done everything down to the T to please him and Shido somehow finds that disappointing. Also, her cunt isn’t nearly as wet as Shido thought it’d be. What, isn’t she turned on? Doesn’t she like this—? 

How could he not like it? He must have loved it, right? He loved it! Shido is sure he loved it. He was crying out for him. He loved every second of it. That demanding slut. He’s crazy for Shido’s cock, isn’t he? Of course he is! 

Fuck, Shido is chasing his hard-on now. Fighting with all his might to keep it. He grabs Jewel by the hand and drags her across the club into his private room. She has no problem keeping up with him. Her legs are so long.

As he stumbles in, he swings the door with one hand. But he doesn’t check to make sure it’s closed. He’s too drunk and too preoccupied with the woman in front of him. And the young man in his head. 

Shido pushes Jewel down on the bed and starts fighting with her dress. He wants to rip it! He tries. But the fabric is made of nylon and he just ends up struggling with it, straining under the effort without making so much as a tear.

“What are you doing…?” Jewel asks, grabbing Shido’s hands to stop him from making more of a mess of her clothes (and a fool of himself). 

“Strip,” Shido spits at her. He doesn’t have time for nonsense! He needs her to be naked. “Take everything off but leave your heels on.” 

She does as he asks. Shido usually likes to take her thick breasts in both hands and play with them, but tonight he’s focused on her legs. He gets down on his knees and kisses them over and over. Her knees are so knobby, like a much younger person’s, and Shido loves it. He licks her knees over and over. Closes his eyes. 

Sprawling, white legs dangling over his shoulders as he eats him out…

His face meets Jewel’s cunt with no resistance. She tastes familiar. Her pubic hair tickles his face as his tongue parts her folds and plunders every inch of her slick, warm pussy. From her clit to her taint, Shido tongues her over and over. He recognizes this taste but he doesn’t want to. He wants it to taste like…

That shy, lewd, greedy little hole. Goro was a virgin, wasn’t he? Shido could tell. He’d never been with a man like that before, had he? Shido was the first. 

Shit, that turns him on so much.

Groaning with lust, overwhelmed by his own arousal to the point that his hands are shaking, Shido takes off his glasses and tosses them somewhere. Without hesitation, his tongue wanders to Jewel’s ass and he licks her mercilessly. Slipping inside to violate the depths of her. Just like he did when…

“Ah! Oh, Mr. Prime Minister! I didn’t expect you to—oh!” 

Normally that works for Shido like a charm. But not tonight. He doesn’t want to be called that right now. He wants her to say…

He looks up at her from between her legs. His face is obviously wet in places and his lips are faintly smeared with dark red lipstick. But he’s smug when he says, “Call me ‘Shido.’” 

Her eyes widen. “I see…Shido.” A hint of a smile pulls at her lips. She’s come to some kind of conclusion in her head, but Shido will never know what it is. He doesn’t really care. 

He turns back to her ass. Pulling her cheeks apart to get his face as close as he can. With his eyes closed, he’s imagining the supple cheeks in his hand are a little less full. He can almost hear it when she says…

“Oh, Shido! Ah! That feels good! Ah, ah!” 

Perfect. 

He lifts his face up. Gets on his knees and hovers over her, trapping her head in between his forearms. His vision is very blurry. Her brown hair looks a few shades lighter all of a sudden.

“Scratch me,” he commands. “Scratch me the hell up. Leave marks, got it?” 

Her eyes widen in surprise, but she nods. “You got it.” 

This was his big plan. He chose Jewel because he knows she has amazing nails and because she’s skinny (like him). He ordered Akechi to come to the club because he wants to know that his son is here. Just down the hall. A few feet away. He wants Akechi to be here. He got a good eyeful of him. It’s enough to keep him hard as he rolls on a condom (experience has taught him to be careful). He shoves his dick inside her sloppy wet cunt (his mouth made her so sloppy). 

The other thing that makes Jewel one of the best at what she does is that she doesn’t ask questions. As soon as he’s inside her, she brings her nails down hard and scratches his back. Rakes them across his muscly flesh. 

It feels so fucking good. He throws his head back as he pistons his cock into her. 

“Harder!” he demands.

She scratches him harder. 

“Nnngh…fuck yeah, that’s it…my chest, too…” 

The diamonds in her nails are brutal against his chest. They will certainly leave fine, thread-like marks. Shido wishes she would do it even harder. But the burn is just right. It’s familiar. He remembers claws and boots and horns. He remembers a sad cry that turned to happiness the more he fucked him. A despair that Shido molded into joy. 

“Tell me you like it,” Shido moans. He’s rocking into her with all his might. “Goro, tell me you like it!” 

From behind him—where neither of them can hear—a cry is quickly stifled beneath a hand. 

____________________________________

The club is exactly how Goro remembers. Dark and dingy. People are smoking cigars indoors and that makes everything seem as if it’s hidden behind a thin damask veil. The whole place smells like liquor and sex and the stiff velvet of the billiards tables. Even the bathrooms. Velvet and sex and booze. That’s this fucking place.

They would serve him alcohol if he asks—serving minors is far from the only illegal thing happening—but Goro decides to stick with soda. It’s just coke from the tap. Nothing special. But it’s free, like everything here. All the drinks and prostitutes and drugs you could ask for, entirely on Shido Masayoshi’s dime. 

It is one way to get people to like you, Goro supposes. 

He finds a seat on the most comfortable (and free) couch and waits. Strangely enough, all the men in this place seem to be ignoring him. He thought for sure he’d have to fend off one or two of them. Especially the SIU Director who seemed so forward with him at the meeting. But no, the SIU Director has paired up with a young man dressed in a sexy version of a schoolgirl’s uniform skirt and heels. That seems to suit the director just fine. He keeps saying, “My, how beautiful you are…such a beauty…” while the young man giggles. 

Here in the club Goro seems to be nothing more than a ghost.

Which is just as well. He doesn’t want to get involved in the things happening around him. A woman with a shrill laugh is taking off all her clothes near the billiards tables. Another woman is getting a piggyback ride from one of Diet members that represents Goro’s home district. She’s naked too, and she’s wearing a princess crown with rabbit ears. As she rides around, she’s screaming out “Big brother, not so fast!” at the top of her lungs. No doubt on the Diet member’s instructions. 

Goro doesn’t linger on any one scene for too long. He’s not as fazed by it as he was last time. 

The fact is, nothing can seem outlandish after spending so much time in Shido’s palace. 

There are some similarities between Shido’s palace and this place though. For example, no one is taking great pains to hide their identity. Everyone knows why they’re here and what they’re getting out of it. In this place, the highest people in society are free to be whatever they want. Free from repercussion. 

Another example, when Shido walks into the room everyone cheers for him. Goro sips his soft drink and hides his smirk. Oh, The Captain would love that. Wouldn’t he? 

But really, this version of Shido is nothing like The Captain. He heads straight for the bar without any shame. His face is already flushed red. Was he drinking in the car on the way over? Probably. 

Shameless. Shido is so, so shameless. 

But Goro can’t take his eyes off him. He watches Shido sit down next to a sex worker with big eyes and long brown hair. She’s one of the more attractive ones here tonight and Shido seems to know her. They recognize each other and get down to business right away. Shido is sucking her face within seconds.

Goro is smiling so hard his cheeks hurts. Wow! Shido is just going to kiss her right there, out in the open! Of course he is! Why wouldn’t he!

Hilarious. Hilarious hilarious hilarious hilarioushilarioushilar….

Goro bites his own tongue. With every fiber of his being he hates that Shido has his hands on that woman. Seeing his father—the man who Goro can’t help fantasizing about, who brings Goro to such a deplorable state of need every time he comes anyway near him—with her is…

It’s kind of like hell, Goro figures. It’s torture. It’s cruelty. It hurts worse than when his mother first told him his father didn’t want him. All those years ago. It hurts worse than that. This is Shido actively seeking out someone else—

It’s unforgivable. That monster…that despicable piece of shit…Goro is going to make him pay…

How dare Shido bring Goro all the way here just to hit on another woman? How dare he flaunt it in front of him? Did he want to torture him like this?! Was that his plan all along? To make Goro watch and debase him? To tear his hope to shreds—that savage hope that Goro promised himself he wouldn’t feel? 

Does Shido want Goro to go insane? 

The woman fetches Shido another drink. Goro looks idly around the club, not really seeing anything. He counts the seconds as they pass. His brain needs some kind of function. He needs something to do otherwise he’s going to scream bloody murder and rip out his hair—

Why doesn’t Shido want him? 

How could he fuck him that good if he doesn’t want him?

Right before Goro’s eyes, Shido drags the prostitute to her feet. He’s going to take her to his private room, no doubt. The one at the end of the hall. Where no one is allowed to go. It might as well be the helm of the ship, right? His private room.

While Shido shoves his fingers under the woman’s skirt, Goro contemplates something ironic. This woman could be his mother. It’s almost funny that she’s not. The notion that he’s come full circle, from the body of a prostitute Shido fucked, to being just another body Shido fucked, to watching Shido fuck another prostitute. What a fascinating cycle!

Really. Someone should write a documentary on this shit. Goro’s messed up goddamn life. It would be great. He can watch it from the bars of the insane asylum they’re going to have to put him in after he burns this place to the ground and kills everyone inside. 

Goro watches them walk across the club towards Shido’s private room. He can’t watch anything else, can’t do anything else, so he gets up and follows them. It’s so easy to tail them! Shido is drunk out of his mind and the woman is just trying to keep up with him. Goro is wearing an argyle sweater and uniform pants and no one notices him. 

It’s horribly anticlimactic. Almost boring! It’s so boring! Goro could walk up right behind this woman, slit her throat, and shoot Shido in the face without anyone noticing. How can they be so blind? Are all people really this stupid? Or is it just Shido?!

For god’s sake, Shido doesn’t even fully close the door behind him when they tumble into his room. Goro sneaks forward and watches from the crack in the door. 

Shido is on his knees, struggling to undress her. He looks pathetic and desperate. How sad. Is Shido really so ruled by his cock after all…? 

That cock…Goro blinks as he remembers how excited he was to touch it last time. How hot and heavy it was in his hand. How proud Shido was of his own dick and how scared but excited Goro was to take it.

But no, Shido really must be drunk if he doesn’t even know how to take off this woman’s dress. Goro could probably walk right in and they wouldn’t even notice! 

So he does. He slips into the room and stands in the corner. The bed is on the opposite side of the room, so Goro can lean against the wall and be completely out of their line of sight. Still, he’s out in the open. He’s not even bothering to hide. 

How could Shido…? How is this the man he’s been working so hard to destroy? How is this Shido Masayoshi? He’s oblivious and stupid and horny! After being so careful for so long! When did this happen? 

Shido is eating out her ass with gusto. Goro’s eyes are cold and dull as he watches her breasts shake every time she gets tongued. He’s been watching women get fucked since before he could talk. One of his earliest memories is his mother in bed with a client. Goro might as well be watching an old rerun of a played-out television show. This is background noise to him. 

“Oh Mr. Prime Minister!” Lame, Shido. So lame. Is that really what he likes to be called during sex? “I didn’t expect you to—”

But then he says, “Call me Shido.” 

That’s…unexpected. Goro’s focus sharpens. What’s happening right now? Why is Shido changing his modus operandi this late in the game? Is there something different about tonight…?

He watches carefully now. Not sure what he’s going to see next. Not entirely sure if he can handle it, whatever it is. He watches Shido undress and roll on a condom. 

Ah, fuck…there’s that cock. In spite of himself, Goro blushes when he sees it. He remembers that cock all too well! He’s plagued by thoughts of that cock at all hours of the day and night! His own ass twitches painfully as he remembers…he wishes—wildly, with the force of a freight train at terrifying speed—that he was the one on that bed. He wishes Shido had dragged him here. Like he thought he would. He wishes he could be sprawled out naked underneath that man right now. His nipples are hard and quivering, his cock is aching and leaking…dying for his father’s attention.

Goro presses the heel of his hand into his mouth and bites down. He’s so jealous he thinks he might pass out. Or have a breakdown. Or maybe he’s already had a breakdown and this is the aftermath. The dissipating waves of thunder.

Shido’s naked body, plunging deep into a woman, is painfully beautiful. It’s degrading on every level to admit that. But it’s true. Shido looks magnificent. Even smeared with lipstick and totally drunk. 

The hands inside Goro’s heart are reaching. Yearning. They want him. No one else will do. Those hands want their _father…_ this man…

“Scratch me the hell up. Leave marks, got it?” 

Goro can’t believe what he’s hearing! Why would Shido want to be scratched? It doesn’t fit with his sadistic, domineering personality! What is he thinking? This can’t be what he’s like in the bedroom—

“Harder! On my chest too.”

On his chest? But that’s where….? 

Pieces start to fall into place in Goro’s mind. Bit by bit. All the data is there, it just needs to be rearranged. And then he hears it—

“Tell me you like it!” Shido is rutting into her with all his might. “Goro, tell me you like it!”

_Goro._

…Me? 

Everything freezes. Goro imagines he’s standing alone at the mouth of a cave. He’s seeing everything from a great distance. But he’s alone here, facing down a darkness he knows he can’t win against. 

So he doesn’t try. 

He jumps headfirst into the mouth of that darkness. 

…Shido is thinking about _me_?

“Ah, Shido! I like it so much! You’re amazing!” The woman is giving her all to the performance. She’s pushing back against Shido every time he pulls out. Smooth and comfortable with herself like a professional. “Shido, I love what you’re doing to me!” 

Goro’s face hurts from where he’s squeezing his own skin. This is just like…this is just like the sex they had in the palace?

Does Shido actually remember that? Was he lying this whole time? Was he trying to recreate the scene now because he can’t get it out of his head and he wants to do it again…? Just like Goro? 

“Ah, ah, yeah, I know you do…I know you like it, you cocktease…” Shido suddenly pulls out and flips the woman over onto her stomach. He slaps her ass hard. She cries out at the unexpected punishment. “Goro you’re such a goddamn dirty cocktease! Getting me hard in the middle of the day when you wear those tops that show off your cute little nipples….bending over to get your briefcase where you know I can see…acting like nothing happened even though we both know I fucked you out of your mind!” He slaps her ass again and again. 

“Ah! I’m sorry, Shido! I’m sorry for getting you hard!” The woman’s voice is emotional but her face (hidden by her hair) is passive. She’s clearly done this all before. 

Shido falls for it hook, line, and sinker. He grins and props her up so she’s on all fours. “That’s alright, Goro. I know you only do it because you want my dick so bad. Isn’t that right?” 

“That’s right!” 

He spanks her again. Not satisfied. “Come on, give me more than that. Tell the whole truth.” He leans down and says in her ear, “You want papa’s dick, don’t you?” 

She huffs and wags her hips. “Yes, Papa, please! Give me your dick!” 

With a throaty, broken cry, Shido fucks her in the ass. Pounding into her with the full force of his lust. 

Goro presses himself as close to the wall as he can. He wants to run screaming from this room. At the same time he wants to dissolve into a cloud of pure happiness. 

Shido _wants_ him. Shido wants him! 

He wants me…

_Papa…_

Shido said it. Not Goro. But that word…it fits him so well! 

Papa wants me. 

Goro has a raging hard-on. Without thinking, he reaches inside his pants and strokes himself in time to Shido’s hips. He’s not imagining anything. He’s just watching. He’s watching and listening and _feeling—_

“That feels so good, Shido! I love it!” Her script is running dry. But it doesn’t seem to matter to Shido.

“I know, I knew it…I fucking knew it….” Shido’s eyes are loose and untamed, rolling around his head. “You loved it when I fucked you silly, didn’t you? Don’t deny it!” 

“Ah—Ah! S-slow down!” She doesn’t seem to mean that, because she’s taking Shido remarkably well, but she says it for the effect.

“No!” Shido grabs a fistful of her hair and pounds into her deeper. “No, I’m going to give it to you good! Just like you deserve, Goro…just like you deserve…y-yeah…” He’s losing himself to the act. 

Or maybe it’s not an act. Maybe Shido is so drunk he thinks he’s actually having sex with his son. Either way, Goro doesn’t care. The truth is plain as day. Right in front of his face.

Papa wants me. 

He wants me so bad.

Banging his head against the wall, Goro’s hand speeds up in his pants. He’s not going to last. He’s watching his father having sex with a prostitute while calling out his name and it’s…it’s somehow the perfect thing. It’s getting him there faster than he can control. Goro knows he’s about to cum and he wants to cum right there, right in front of both of them. He wants Shido to turn around and look at him! He wants Shido to see! 

Look at me, Papa! Look at me! 

But when Goro does cum—at more or less the same time as Shido does—he stays quiet. Revealing himself now would mean ruining this moment. This delicate moment of truth. This moment is a snowflake in his palm and it’s already melting. No reason to clench his fist and speed up the process. 

Shido was honest. 

He was being honest when he fucked this woman. Shido remembers everything that happened in the palace and he’s daydreaming about it. It’s different than watching The Captain fuck the cognitive version of himself. This is the real thing! This is the man himself! Revealing the truth!

Goro falls to his knees. He wants to crawl over to Shido and rest his head in his lap. He wants Shido to stroke his hair and tell him he did a good job. He wants to look him in the eye and call him Papa, just because he can. Because he’s allowed to do it. 

He wants Shido to touch him. Anywhere. In any way. He just wants Shido’s hands on his body so bad he might literally lose his mind if he doesn’t get it…! 

But in the span of that time, while Goro comes to terms with what he saw, Shido has already fallen asleep. Jewel slides out from under him (he fell on top of her unceremoniously) and starts to look for her scattered clothes. 

When she turns in Goro’s direction, she inevitably sees him. Understandably, it startles her. She gasps, “Holy shit!” and takes several steps back. “Who the hell are you?” 

Goro is on his hands and knees, pants undone, hand on his exposed dick, cum leaking out between his fingers. Everything that just happened is obvious. No need for an explanation. 

He’s so far gone in this moment that he honestly isn’t even ashamed.

He smiles at her. Beguiling and sweet. “I’m one of the phantom thieves,” he announces. Dropping his dick with loud liquid sound. “I’m here to steal your heart.”

Jewel frowns. Her eyes dart around the room curiously. As if part of that statement might be true. She waits for a moment. A customary amount of time. Then she shrugs and wiggles her way into her tight nylon dress. Fully dressed again, she flips her hair out of the way and smoothes it down with her fingers. There’s a mirror on the side of the room and she uses it to check her appearance. With a thumb, she fixes her smeared lipstick. 

Her eyes meet Goro’s in the mirror. “You’re Goro, aren’t you? The one he was talking about?”

It genuinely shocks Goro that she figures it out so quickly. Although, he supposes the situation looks idiotic to an outsider. The pieces are right in front of her. Even though it’s taken Shido and Goro years to get to this point with each other. Realizing who they are. What they want.

He says nothing. 

Jewel stares at him a moment longer. The look on her face is not mocking or judgmental. She seems to understand something. She nods. Then she gestures vaguely over to Shido’s unconscious, snoring form. 

“Well, he’s all yours,” she says. She sort of smiles at Goro and, with that, she makes her exit. 

So they’re alone. 

The door closes. It’s just the two of them. And Shido is completely knocked out. 

Goro feels ridiculously powerful. He’s won, hasn’t he? Doesn’t he have everything? He has Shido. He has his father’s love! Shido wants him! That’s enough for days. Forever! And now…they can be alone.

Blushing like a schoolgirl, heart beating madly, Goro cautiously approaches Shido’s sleeping body. He’s walking on eggshells. Tiptoeing. Afraid to break this moment. One false step and it might all be over! He’s only just gotten this happiness, this realization. He doesn’t want to lose it so soon! 

He peers down at Shido’s asleep face. He moves closer. Closer, closer. Lets their noses touch. Relishes the sensation. He wants to kiss Shido. He wants Shido to wake up and look at him. To see him, to really see him! He wants Shido to wake up and for all of this to still be real.

His whole body aches with a pain he doesn’t understand. Those hands inside of him tremble with need.

“Papa…” he whispers. Breath ghosting along Shido’s face.

And, suddenly, Shido’s eyes open. “Goro?” he asks, confused. His eyes are bloodshot and his cheeks are still red. He’s still very drunk.

Goro is afraid. He stands completely still. Afraid to hope, afraid to dream. Afraid to ask, afraid to say anything. So hungry. So desperate and aching—

Shido smiles. He lifts one hand and brings it down softly on top of Goro’s head. “Heh, I could smell you.” He kisses Goro on the cheek and says, “You smell like lavender and lemon. There’s no one else in the world who smells like that.” 

Tears of joy prick Goro’s eyes. He nods. Glowing from the inside out in the light of his father’s head pat and his kiss. “It’s me, Papa…” he chokes out. 

“Come here, don’t cry.” Shido pulls him in for a hug. Forces Goro to lay down next to him. Wraps him in his arms. “Just calm down. I’ve got you.” 

Goro is shaking like a leaf in Shido’s arms. Now that the tears have started they won’t stop. He burrows himself as close to his father as possible. Cries and cries. He wraps both his arms and legs around Shido. He’ll never, ever let go. Not as long as they’re both alive. He won’t let him go even if their lives depend on it! 

This warmth…

The warmth of his father’s embrace. The cold but sturdy shape of his love. His unyielding arms. Holding Goro close.

“I love you, Papa…” Goro cries. He’s forgotten how old he is. Who he is. There’s only this. Only this. 

Forever, please, forever, let me have this one thing. 

Shido is silent. It’s a noticeably awkward silence considering what Goro just admitted out loud…

He looks up again and sees that Shido has fallen back asleep. 

Goro smiles. Papa is resting peacefully. That’s good. He needs his rest. He strokes Shido’s face while he sleeps. Enraptured and in love. Hoping that even in this small way he’s making Shido more comfortable while he rests. Hoping that Shido can feel his heart, so close and so earnest. 

If Shido can smell him, maybe he can feel him too. He probably can.

Goro feeds the dream he’s been fighting for so long. He allows himself to hope. It’s the most dangerous thing he’s ever done, but he surrenders to the temptation.

They lay together and rest for a long time. 

_________________________

Goro isn’t sure if he sleeps. Even if he closes his eyes, part of him stays awake. How can he sleep when he needs to enjoy every second of this moment? 

The hours tick by. 

Eventually Goro decides to get up. There are a few things he needs to do. For one, he needs to clean up this room. It’s a mess! Papa was in such a hurry to have sex that he threw his glasses on the floor and tossed his clothes everywhere. So careless, Papa! Goro shakes his head patiently and straightens up. He wipes Shido’s glasses and puts them on the nightstand. He folds Shido’s clothes. Shakes out the sheets and covers Shido with them. Prepares some water and a hot towel for Shido when he wakes up. 

He finds Shido’s cellphone on the floor. It must have fallen out of his pants. As Goro leans to pick it up, he realizes something. He stares unblinking at that phone for several minutes as the notion occurs to him. 

His own phone was off the whole time. 

And…

Shido was drunk, wasn’t he?

So Goro should really…even for his own sake he should…

It turns out, Goro’s phone fits nicely on the nightstand. Right next to Shido’s glasses. Propped upright. 

After that, Goro has nothing to do but wait. He settles in. Watches some TV. Shido sleeps for a while. The night turns into day. Before he knows it, it’s already past nine in the morning. 

One of the bartenders—the caretaker of this place, in reality—knocks on the door. “Shido-sama. Shido-sama, are you in there? It’s that time. Please wake up, sir.” 

Apparently there’s a preset arrangement between them that the bartender will rouse Shido from his sleep at 9:00 the next morning after one of those raging parties. Makes sense. A failsafe. The bartender keeps knocking and knocking. 

Shido stirs groggily from his sleep. “Mm?” he says. Rising from underneath the sheets like a mountain poking out of the sea. “Mmm…mm’up…I’m up.”

Shido looks very far from awake. His eyes are stuck together and his face seems stuck in a permanent grimace. 

“Pardon the intrusion, sir, would you like the usual?” The bartender stays on the other side of the door. So he doesn’t see the state of Shido, nor Goro in bed beside him.

“Yes, thank you,” Shido calls, pressing two fingers to his temple. Goro can practically see his temple throbbing. “That’ll be all.” 

Goro grabs the glass of water and towel he’s prepared. He scoots closer to Shido and says, as bright as the day, “Good morning.”

Shido’s eyes burst open. He stares at Goro like he’s never seen him before. “Goro…? Mm, Akechi…kun?” He frowns. Dark and dismal. “What are you…?”

Ignoring that, Goro hands him the water and towel. “Drink this. Then wipe your face. You were very drunk last night, Shido-san.” 

“Hmph.” Shido grumbles like an old man, but doesn’t argue. He takes the water and downs it all in one. Clearly dehydrated. He also uses the towel. When he’s finished wiping his face, he hands it back to Goro and says, quietly, “…Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome.” Goro leans closer to him. Impossibly close. Closer than he ever would have if last night had not happened. “How much do you remember of last night?” 

Shido pinches the bridge of his nose. After a while he says, “…I remember enough. But I don’t remember inviting you into my private room. Why are you here?”

Of course. Goro expected this much. Shido was drunk. So he doesn’t remember what he said to Goro when they were laying down together. He might not even remember calling out Goro’s name in bed with his favorite worker. That’s nothing new. Goro knew enough to anticipate this.

He’s fine with that. He has another idea.

“I’m just helping you out,” he says lightly. “Do you have a headache?” 

“What?” Shido’s bloodshot eyes throw confused daggers at him. 

“A headache. Do you have one?” Goro gets up onto his knees. “It’s a common side effect after drinking too heavily. Are you in pain right now, Shido-san?” 

Shido sighs. He moves away from Goro and throws his feet on the floor. “What’s it to you?” he asks grumpily.

At that, Goro smiles. “I can help. Let me see…”

Shido looks at him in bewilderment. “See what—”

But before he has a chance to say anything else, Goro already has his hands on him. He presses his thumbs into Shido’s sinuses and his forefingers on either side of his temple. Then he rubs softly but firmly. Massaging the scalp as well. All the pressure points that are useful to mitigate headaches.

Any arguments die on Shido’s lips. He withstands the treatment with a small groan of relief.

Their faces are practically touching. “Is that better?” Goro whispers.

“Mm…” Shido mumbles. He doesn’t ask him to stop. It’s as good as a yes. 

“Good.” 

He massages Shido’s face for a little while longer. As he touches him, red hot desire burns through Goro. He _needs_. He _wants._ They’re so close! Just like they were last night when Shido held him! All the desire Goro has been harboring for the past month, his throbbing body, boiling with a need he could never satisfy himself…all of it rises to the surface suddenly with an intensity even Goro didn’t expect. 

He stops massaging.

Shido opens his eyes, about to protest—

But Goro silences him with a kiss on the mouth. It’s hot and desperate. He climbs into Shido’s lap and pushes him backward, nearly toppling him. His mouth consumes Shido’s and he wraps his arms around his neck. Holding him close, close, close, close—

“Mm—Goro—!”

Goro is so turned on it takes him a moment to realize he’s been pushed away. He blinks deliriously, thrown back onto the bed.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” 

Shido throws on his clothes. Seething with rage. Goro watches his back. Darkness creeps around the edge of his vision. 

They don’t say anything for a while. Not until Shido is dressed. Goro just stares at him. He stares and stares. Watches. Waits. He’ll keep staring. Waiting for something to happen. His brain is not working. He’s staring dead-eyed at Shido. 

The bartender comes back with a knock on the door. Shido jumps when he hears it, rushing to hold the door closed. 

Afraid of being found out. Afraid of anyone finding Goro there with him. 

Oh…

….oh. 

It’s obvious now. 

“What is it?” Shido barks.

“I have the seltzer and coconut water for you, sir. Do you still want it?”

“Just…leave it by the door.” Shido stammers. Holding the door closed even though no one is trying to get in. 

“Yes, sir.” 

When the bartender’s footsteps are gone, Shido turns the side of his face towards Goro. “I’m going to leave first. You should stay here for another hour or so to make it look like you just fell asleep somewhere. Don’t let them find you in my room, understood?” 

Goro doesn’t say anything. He’s lying in the exact same position Shido threw him. Like a rag doll. 

“And…” Shido sighs. Straightens his shoulders. Adjusts his suit jacket. “I’m going to forget everything that happened here. I suggest you do the same.” 

He opens the door and steps out into the world. A confident man. A man who put his demons to rest the night before and is now ready to continue making the world run as it should. 

The door closes on Goro and leaves him alone. 

Loneliness is not new. He’s been dealing with that forever. Especially since the palace.

But this is…

Right. This is what rejection feels like. A hot knife in his gut. Slashing, tearing. Yes. That’s the feeling. 

He forces himself to rise. His hands find their way to the nightstand. To his phone. When he presses the screen he hits the ‘stop’ button. 

The video is long. Over an hour. He’s been recording the whole time, not sure when Shido would wake up and when Goro would get his chance. He fast-forwards through most of it, until the end. When he kisses Shido. And Shido—

He watches Shido’s face. Is there anything…?

He zooms in. Watches again. And again. Is there something he can use? He can cling to? Anything?

No matter how many times he watches it, Goro can’t tell. He can’t tell if there’s anything on Shido’s face that he can use. Or that points to the fact that Shido was calling out for him during sex. That he remembers what happened in the palace. That he held Goro close and told him not to cry…

Goro can’t tell.

Mostly, Shido just looks hungover. 

Goro stands. Like a zombie. He holds the phone so tightly the screen cracks around the edges. He needs to stop before he breaks it…

There’s nothing. Is there nothing? Is nothing the word for what this is?

…..

The sun doesn’t touch the club. Not this far underground. That’s done on purpose. When Goro steps out with his blazer and briefcase, he wears a saccharine version of his usual smile. It’s plastered on his face like it’s been written with permanent marker. It’s the most fake he’s ever been. And simultaneously, probably, the most likable. 

“Oh, Akechi-kun!” The bartender is surprised to see him. So is everyone, apparently. “I didn’t know you were still here…”

“I fell asleep in the back,” he explains. The rote regurgitation of Shido’s directions. “Thank you for all your hospitality last night. I’ll be going now.” 

“Y-yes, sir. Please take care…” 

The sun hurts Goro’s eyes when he’s outside. He raises a gloved hand to blot it out. 

‘I didn’t know you were still here,’ the bartender said. It’s a fair assumption, considering the circumstances. 

But the honest answer from Goro would have been, ‘I’m not.’ 

**Author's Note:**

> ....It's progress, guys. (Or is it? Hard to tell...) 
> 
> #shiakelives


End file.
